A suitable educated partner is sought for attractive cousin, manager in a large company, BA, computer skills, 41 yrs., 5’1″ young looking with car and other benefits. Dowry a furnished house & jewellery. Willing to settle down in any European country. Reply urgently with family details and horoscope.No it’s not a job applicant but a Sri Lankan marriage proposal (more here). In a lot of cases a suitor will be selected by parents, a groom will be chosen on the basis of education, money, and horoscope, a bride I’m not quite sure, but looks and horoscope are some of the factors. A dowry is paid to the groom’s family. In other cases, a young couple may be attracted to each other and wish to marry, in which case the parents of both must approve. One lady I met said it was 7 years before her mother in law agreed to let her son marry her (she didn’t have enough for the dowry).
Sri Lankan life is family based. Most will live with their family until marriage. No independent living. Women are socially chastised far more than men, for example a divorced lady, particularly if with child, is looked down on, but a divorced man is not necessarily. She may have trouble finding a good school for her child.
The Sri Lankan people are very friendly. Going beyond initial contact, I felt they were less easy-going and less of a modern people than the Thais or Cambodians. Thais and Cambodians were more likely to dress in a Western style than the Sri Lankans, who have probably had their fair share of Western influence during colonial times.
The views of an upper class-educated and English speaking couple that I met were that Sri Lanka was a dangerous place (this has certainly been true of the past), one should watch out for the useless illiterates who scam you for money, and that English colonisation was the best thing to happen to the country. They regularly contributed to the local orphanage. They weren’t the only ones I met who looked down on their fellow man, a guesthouse I stayed at actually charged the locals more than tourists in order to weed out those ‘undesirables’ with less money.
The less educated people I met spoke less English and wanted me to get them a visa for New Zealand but they didn’t understand the system. Without education, family in NZ, or money they had no hope in hell of getting a work permit. If they wanted to visit they had to apply for a visitor’s visa, the main requirement was to show proof of funds to support oneself. I became all the more aware of the relative ease with which I could not only move through the developed and undeveloped worlds, but work there too.
